an open letter to social media director of “me”

effective immediately, i have fired my previous social media relations director; “me“,

for he has been ruining my future reputation and present believability via managing my social media messages (twitter, facebook etc.) upon reflecting my views on various subjects using phrases and effects, including, but not limited to “oh yeah, wonderfuuull, holy crap!, wow maaan, cool, check diz out, incomiiing, fire in the hooolee, chamon m8, lolz…”.

for his position a new social media director will be recruited; “me 2.0“.

this new professional, will try to manage the process as I would talk:

  • at a dinner table of a party, where I am invited as a first time guest, no, actually as a plus one of a friend who is a good friend of the party’s host,
  • at a symposium, where during the talk I both try to shine,  and try not to look needy of attention and ambitious at the same time,
  • at an office where I just start working and everyone is neither my foe, nor my friend and most possibly I want all to stay the same,
  • at a job interview, where while trying to impress the interviewer about my specialties, only carefully exaggerating to the limit, where I will not be held responsible for the time-consuming duties out of the boundaries of the job description,
  • at a first date with the dream woman/man,
  • at any one night stand with a regular (non-dream) woman/man,
  • at a newspaper stand when meeting with / introduced to a stranger, not giving too much information about myself (eg. i peed every night in my sleep till i’m 16), but giving enough to keep them interested (eg. once i pulled a jet fighter with my teeth),
    (the second one has to be craftfully inserted into the dialog, well, actually, this goes for the first one too…)